Good vibrations

One-third of all households in the UK now own some type of sex toy - that's more than own a cat. So, lose the embarrassment and check out our hands-on guide to choosing, buying and using toys that make you go yes, yes, YES!

There's nothing new about sex toys - the women of ancient Greece used dildos to keep themselves happy when their men were out fighting battles. But while toys have been around for the longest time, they've often been seen as an utter perversion. Happily, we're now realising that they're fun and educational - sex toys can help you learn to reach orgasm, or get a better orgasm, in fact, most sex therapists now recommend playing with sex toys as part of the treatment.

How to buy
If you're a sex toy virgin, don't leap straight into a hardcore sex shop - even keying in the term 'sex toys' on the web can be overwhelming. There are some scary looking implements about and you may be put off. Instead, buy a guide to what's available, such as Anne Hooper's Sex Toys, (Caroll and Brown, £8.99).

Alternatively, browse some women-friendly websites such as the very supportive www.emotionalbliss.com - you can order direct from them for greater anonymity or privacy and they also have an e-mail advice line with top sexpert Julia Cole.

If you're feeling braver, actually visit a sex shop and play. Beware of those aimed at men - far better to go for a high street store such as Ann Summers, where the, mostly female, assistants won't hassle you.

Or if you're in London, head for the women's exotic emporium, Sh!, (pronounced Shush). They don't even let men in unless accompanied by a woman, and all their assistants are fully trained and very helpful - you can even have a cup of coffee while you're browsing. You can visit their website, www.sh-womenstore.com, if you're not from the capital. Alternatively, why not visit the iVillage sex shop for more ideas on saucy bedroom treats!

How to introduce your toy to your man
Most men think they've died and gone to heaven if you mention sex toys, particularly if you make it clear that whatever you're buying can be used on him as well as on you.

The only time you might hit problems is with a vibrator - some dinosaur males might panic that they're not satisfying you. First of all, reassure him that a vibrator is an additional goodie not a replacement man. And second, be confident when you broach the subject - if you're nervous, he'll think he has something to worry about.

How to use sex toys
As with sex itself, so with sex toys, whatever turns you on is fine - there's absolutely no wrong way. Also as with sex, don't expect to get it right first time - you'll need to experiment. So read the instructions and start playing. Don't aim for the heights of passion right away - notice what feels good and do it again; if something doesn't work after a few tries, forget it.

Final note - always remember to clean sex toys before use and after - and if you're sharing a penis-shaped toy with a partner, use a condom - just as you would with the real thing.

What to try
Edible goodies
Even in the high street you can get chocolate body paint - smear it on, lick it off. You can use it to paint his or your parts, or write suggestive words and naughty pictures on each other's backs or thighs.

But also try going further with sweet body dust, suggestively shaped candies, edible massage oils, and even edible knickers.
Recommended: Honey Dust (£19.99), sweet-tasting powder to sprinkle wherever you like.

Massage aids
Oils are great - and you can also buy feathers, silk scarves and massage mitts covered in velvet or fur. Whatever you use, start gently and at your partner's extremities, then work inwards, teasing lightly and working up to more pressure.
Recommended: Massage Stroker (£22), a massage glove that warms and soothes - you can also use it with a vibrator inside for added stimulation.

Dressing up
If you fancy yourself as a naughty French maid - or your man as a leather-clad biker - then most sex shops will have the necessary to help you act out your fantasies.
Recommended: The Ann Summers website (www.annsummers.com) for a varied collection of undies, nightwear and dressing-up gear.

Playing the game
Sexy board games are a fun way to break the ice and introduce new techniques under the sheets. If you're a new couple the questions and tasks help break down your inhibitions - and if you're a more established partnership, they'll remind you of things you may have forgotten you ever did.
Recommended: Nookii (£24.99): this is a dare game - the cards urge you on to do more and more.

Ties and blinds
Not everyone likes being tied up - but those who do claim that there's nothing like feeling at your partner's mercy. You can do this with ordinary silk scarves, but most sex stores also sell handcuffs, blindfolds, collars and cuffs all with instant release fastenings.

Remember not to put anything into a partner's mouth or round their throat. Also agree a 'safe' word between you - a term you wouldn't normally use during sex so that if the tied one gets into difficulty, it's obvious that they want to call a halt immediately.
Recommended: Passion Love Cuffs (£10.99) - available in soft leopard skin, these are pretty and not too scary for beginners.

Why not spice up your top drawer with some saucy treats from the iVillage sex shop?

On the inside
Most women get most pleasure from their clitoris. But if you like the feeling of something inside, you can use a dildo. Guidelines for choosing: get a size smaller than you think you need because unlike a man, a dildo won't adapt to you.
Recommended: Rock Chick (£34.99): a great 'U' shaped dildo that is contoured to stimulate your G spot and hit your clitoris at the same time.

Or, try love balls - smooth metal spheres you slip inside your vagina to arouse you during lovemaking or masturbation. You can also wear them during the day to get in the mood for the evening's entertainment.
Recommended: Vibrating Luv Balls (£19): have the added attraction of a built-in vibrator.

For him
The simplest male toy is a 'cock ring' that fits round the base of his penis, but be careful - he should never wear it for longer than 20 minutes. He could also use a vibe sleeve, which fits over his penis and gently vibrates.
Recommended: Test-tickles (£14.99): a double cock and ball ring with added vibration.

Feel the vibe
Vibrators are by far the most popular sex toy - and not just for women. The latest wave of vibrators are much more sensuous and can even combine vaginal and clitoral stimulation together.

Use them anywhere you like - labia, clitoris, vagina - or on his testicles, penis tip and at the base of the penis.

How to choose?
Things to consider are:

• size - small for discretion, large for effect
• whether you want penetration - if you do, choose a penis-shaped one
• how hard or soft you want your vibrator to be
• whether you want mains (with wire) or battery (might run out at the wrong moment)
• what intensity of vibration you need
• whether you want your vibrator to reach your G spot
• whether you want remote control

Why not spice up your top drawer with some saucy treats from the iVillage sex shop?